On Sanctuary
The world can feel uncertain and unpredictable. And in turn we as humans might find that we are constantly managing our own symptoms of distrust or feelings of unsafety within it. I encounter this a lot with my clients and within myself. It is a natural human reaction.
Sometimes the only way that can make us feel “better” is a sense of control. This can manifest in so many different ways for each of us. Maybe we try to control our schedules or our food intake or our strict exercise regime. Or we do the opposite and let ourselves get out of control on occasion, letting the success or failure of our favorite sports team dictate our emotions. Sometimes even by placing all the blame on Johnny Walker’s influence for our actions..
However in general, most things are out of our control in the world. So what is the solution and how can we satisfy this sense of control without setting ourselves up for disappointment or a spiral into distrust..again? I have spoken in the past about creating routine; a routine that you can do no matter what is going on and where you are. Mine is my morning routine, which you can read more about HERE. There is also another way to help yourself when your nervous system gets into this place.
While a routine will offer your nervous system predictability and grounding, creating a sanctuary can offer your exteroception reminders of calm and safety from your environment. Exteroception is the information that we get from our external environment through our 5 senses that then assists us to assess how we are feeling on the inside (cognitive, physical and emotional). Our 5 senses are touch, taste, smell, hearing and seeing. If we can create an environment that offers us opportunities to experience things that we like or enjoy, this will in turn offer our nervous systems reminders of being safe, especially when things feel out of control.
When I was living in Egypt this became essential. Cairo is an incredible city. It is also noisy, smelly, dirty, and completely unpredictable for anyone who has grown up with Western experiences as references. For example, going out to run errands in Cairo was like a craps shoot. I might successfully complete 2 out of 4 or none out of 4 and there was no predicting why or how. Plus I had to deal with the overwhelming environment (traffic, trash, people grabbing me asking for things like money or my attention in a language I barely understood, heat, smells that overpowered everything else, etc).
Yet, I loved my time in Cairo because I created a sanctuary. I knew that whatever was going on out there, I could always come back to my flat and light a candle, touch my yarn, look at my plants and sit in relative silence until I was ready to go back out there and face the challenge another day. Creating your sanctuary is about bringing in elements of the world that you enjoy into a sacred space. It might be your bathroom, a small space on your nightstand, or even the company of other people. Our communities and loved ones can also be our sanctuary.
So as the world outside feels more and more unpredictable and out of control, I encourage you to notice if you can carve out a space of sanctuary for yourself in your life right now. Focus on your 5 senses (a few options might be to find something that feels good on your skin, fill your space with smells that you enjoy, eat your favorite foods, look at something that makes you smile or evokes a happy memory, and/or bring in pleasant ambient noise or silence. Be it a room, a drawer, or the presence of another heartbeat lean into this practice with intentionality and keep me posted on what happens.
