Phase 2: Uncomfortable Awareness
Continuing our conversation about the 4 Phases of Awareness we are now onto Phase 2, Uncomfortable Awareness.
As I mentioned before in September, Uncomfortable Awareness is probably the longest phase of this process and I believe it has two main parts:
That place where we finally acknowledge that how our nervous system has been operating is not sustainable (maybe because we start to feel the impacts of stress and anxiety in our everyday lives through interrupted sleep, pain, health issues, etc)
When we start to shift our nervous system to a place of awareness and notice EVERYTHING, and it is all uncomfortable because it is new and unfamiliar.
Let’s look at the first part, well, first:
Our bodies are smart. So smart in fact that it can feel like they have an agenda all their own. When we ignore the impact of stressors, have been pushing down trauma to survive and be as functional as possible over time, and/or might not be privy to how an experience or event has shaped our nervous system, eventually our bodies will message us and let us know that something is not right. These messages might come in the form of digestive issues, sleep challenges, unexplainable pain, heightened anxiety symptoms, emotional ups and downs, and so forth. These messages get so loud that we cannot ignore them and we become uncomfortably aware that something has to shift.
Maybe you decide to start meditating or take a Qi Gong class, you plan a vacation, or even seek professional support from a somatic therapist.
But here’s the thing and here comes my favorite part! The second piece of this Uncomfortable Awareness. It’s all still uncomfortable.
Humans are extremely adaptable beings. However, we do not like change, no matter the type of change (supportive or not so much), we naturally gravitate towards what is familiar. Our unconscious adaptations usually come in the form taking a familiar pathway to safety. This could resemble falling into an old relationship pattern, going down the road of a well worn habit, or looping into a series of responses (fight, flight or fawn for example).
When we strive to make shifts that encourage other pathways to safety to be dug in our nervous system we become more aware of how uncomfortable our new awareness really is. Now don’t get me wrong, within this phase come the glimmers and moments of calm, the clarity for more reflection, and the completion of our threat response cycle to kick us out of the action mode and find ease more sustainably.
However, what can also show up is (for example) anger or frustration when meditating, new pain that comes up within your Qi Gong class, not being able to sit still on that beach chair on your vacation, or noticing all of the physical and emotional sensations that you have been keeping at bay during your somatic sessions. Everything feels…and your nervous system has done such an incredible job so far keeping you away from all the feels that this phase might seem never ending and extremely uncomfortable…and you are aware of all of it.
At this phase I remind my clients that it will get easier. And from my experience so far, it usually does. Stay tuned for Phase 3 in the next few weeks.
