Resourcing
I love reminders. I put alarms on my phone for times of clients and when to take my supplements, sticky notes in my calendar of what I need to get done, and phone notes of which exercise video I am on in whichever exercise app I am using at the moment. I also often describe the work that I do as offering support for people to remember what it feels like to be calm in their own body.For some of you that have worked with me this reminder of calm body sensation can come in the form of a resource. But what is a resource, really?
A resource is a life raft that can orient you to an island of safety when the waves of overwhelm are breaking over your head. One misconception is that resources can be generalized for all of us.. For example, if I am going into a panic state (think waves over my head in a stormy ocean) and someone yells from the shore of safety…”Just breathe”...is this actually a resource and helpful? I’m going to say probably not.
In order to discover and utilize a resource effectively will depend on our personal capacity, what supports our individual nervous system, and what is accessible at the time of need.
To expect that I have the wherewithal to go internal and use my breath as a guide is a huge ask when I feel like I am drowning. Also, depending on my nervous system’s state, I might not be able to physically take a deep breath (we will discuss why this happens at a later time).
Another misconception about resources is that they should be used as a distraction or a tool to simply regulate or calm us down. Sometimes this is absolutely true and necessary if the waves are too big and the overwhelm has too strong of a pull on our current state of being. However, the long term effectiveness of using a resource comes when the resource allows us to not distract from, but be with the sensations of discomfort in our body. The resource doesn’t stop the waves, it bolsters us up in order to be able to see which way to swim towards that island of safety.
This is when our Healing Vortex is strongest. Our Healing Vortex is the counter swirl to our Trauma Vortex (more on this later as well). Within the context of resources, this is the moment our body can hold both the reality of what is happening inside of us and the knowing that it will all be ok. This also offers us the ability to do something about our current state and shifting out of discomfort in some way. And within this swirl is also when your window of capacity for discomfort can widen. This is the reminder; your body’s way of post it noting that physical sensation for later use when the waves get big again.
Next time I will go into the different types of resources that we can utilize, why it is important to have multiple in your toolbelt, and how you can individualize your resources to cater to your specific nervous system needs. Plus, how do we know if a resource is serving us? Until next time.
