Your stuff is my stuff and my stuff is your stuff…Counter-transference

My client pool is very diverse.  No one person has the same nervous system or the same set of experiences or life circumstances.  I have actually noticed as well that my practice does not actually attract a certain group of individuals.  And, when I first started my practice I had a few women over the age of 50 that were navigating various type of cancer, and were in various stages of their treatments and recovery.

As I worked with these clients I always gave them a little extra time in our sessions; took extra care in offering them alternative session slots, and made their follow up emails just a bit more lengthy in explanation and encouragement. I gradually started to notice that this extra time and care I was offering these specific women was actually impacting the quality of care I was offering my other clients.  And this was a problem.  In therapy terms I was actually falling into the realm of Countertransference.  

Countertransference is when, as professionals, we put our own bias’, traumas, and life experiences onto our clients, with sometimes very damaging effects.  We allow the events in our life to dictate how we support or don’t support  our clients.  As a Somatic Therapist, whose job it is to feel into and explore attunement with my clients sensations and emotions, this posed an even more messy set of layers to how this was impacting my ability to keep a balance within my professional relationships. 

I come from a family that has lost many women to cancer early in their lives. I have also been a caretaker to women in my family who have been fighting the good fight against cancer.  I was laying my grief onto these clients that represented this struggle on a personal plain for me, and not accommodating all of my clients in the same manner.  Plus I was grieving past losses after sessions with these clients that left me exhausted, irritable, and shut down.  I finally was able to address what was happening and in the end my practice came back into balance. 

In this work it is so important that we as professionals keep our countertransference in check in order to be more present with all of our clients and ourselves in sessions and to avoid burnout or overwhelm.  How are you ensuring your prevention and closing your loops?  Until next time.